WWW Wrestling Wrap-up #2

Move of the Month
"Here's some double team action, Pearl and Dean. They've got Vanilla Ice in a hold. It's a powerbomb on ice. A big splash! Vanilla Ice has gone through the ice. No crap dancing on ice for the vanilla one! What a move! It's the ultimate icebreaker! Pearl and Dean win!"

Quote of the Month
"Jes, let me tell you about the facts, when you face Rafa Ramon in the ring, jes is gonna crave you up"

Goldenballs (w/Posh) -vs- [ad break]
Here's the new milan kid on the block in the team's red and black colours. Looks like he'll be there in for half the time just like in 1998 (as he returns to LA soon), it's Golden Becks. Posh reminds us to never forget the name of Goldenballs...

[ad break: Rolf Harris wants us to guess a match that he will be featured in at Shovelmania. Can you guess what it is?]

Goldenballs (w/Posh) -vs- Blake 'Hitman' Hart (w/Special One)
It's the former 20-time WWW World Heavyweight Champion. Just to make it confusing he's wearing the same colours. After all he calls himself 'Red and Black' attack. He's accompanied by the Special One, Jose. Why not? Be Champion!

They lock up and Blake gets his man down and puts Golden Becks into a clipboard. Blakey uses the inspector's discretion and puts Becks to sleep. This could be it already! No, a flailing elbow to the side, breaks the hold. Becks up and weaves around Blakey. A nutmeg and tackle from behind. Blakey goes down like a ton of bricks. Becks makes a cover but only for a 2 count. Becks gets Blakey in the corner and a free kick in the goldenballs. Becks with a throw-in and a two-footed tackle on Blakey's ankle. That's it! But the ref has missed it as he's chatting to posh about Women's weekly. Blakey in trouble now as Becks hits the penalty. But the special one is distracting the ref, claiming he is not a champion. Here comes the Great One Gretsky and now there's an argument to see who is 'the one'. In the meantime, Becks has missed a second penalty and bam, Blakey hits a bus stop from nowhere right between Beck's legs. Blakey delivers a penalty fare of his own, pushes aside Posh and her Versace. He hooks Becks in the routemaster. The ref has finally started watching the match just in time to see Becks tap out. Your winner by submission, Blake 'Hitman' Hart.

Shovelmania
Here is the current card for Shovelmania:
Mickey Rourke vs 'The boy' Mickey Rooney (Mickey Mouse match)
Blake Hart vs Coconut Shy
Masterchef Lloyd Grossman vs Gordon '2 fingers up' Ramsey (Kitchen Match)
Jessie Lawson vs Nigella Lawson
The Banker vs Million Pound Man Noel Edmonds (Credit Crunch Match - Loser must file for bankruptcy)
Francis Ford Cappello vs Van Hiddink
Rafa Ramon vs Fergilious
Special One vs Great One
Chris Brown vs Bobby Brown (Baddest boy of hip-hop match)
Charing X/Brent X/Hatton X vs Colin Dale/Stan More/Peri Vale (Underground match)
Stevie B vs Stevie G vs Stevie V (special guest ref Stevie Wonder)
Skippy vs Churchill (special guest ref Rolf Harris)